I'm tired of crying. Tired of proving that i'm not lying. What exactly should i do to appease you? You keep clinging onto the fact that i'm doing things behind your back. Will you even notice i cried? I'm sorry i made you cry earlier. But i can no longer surpress my feelings. You just went on and on with your criticisms. To be frank,you're downright unreasonable. You're an adult,mom. But why are you doing this to me? I'm older than i used to be. I don't know the reason for you not to at least forget the past. Forgive my mistakes. You mentioned you came back to Singapore for my well-being. I appreciate that. But you only proved to me that ever since you came back,all you did was spotting my flaws and screaming right to my ears over the littlest things. That,i'm fine with it. Not when you start losing your trust in me in everything i do. Blood is thicker than water,i know. But now,it seems like i wished you were not here. I'd appreciate it more if you'd just stop comparing me to your kids in Philippines. I am me,and not them,please? Even comparing me to my cousins wouldn't help. It hurts me when you said i was the worst of all. I'm fourteen,so? I've got feelings,still. I doubt your mindset is gonna change. I've repeated that i wanted to go out tomorrow to get things done for my art project,but you just wouldn't believe me. You said you wanted to call my teacher,but when i told you to call the school,you asked me whatever for. I don't have my art teacher's number,honest. I don't see why i shouldn't get mad at you,my own mother. Sorry for being such a rebel and also,for shouting at you. You can't blame me for speaking up when you badmouth my friends. Please stop talking bad of them when you don't even know them. Sighs. "Tell me,are you patient,understanding? Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I,I've tried every remedy. And nothing seems to work for me." I guess trying to change is not enough for you. I'm yearning for someone to make me stand when i fall. Who doesn't long for someone to hold,who knows how to love you without being told? Somebody tell me why I'm on my own..


Father,sorry for hanging up on you while you were talking. My mind's blank. And i'm seriously a lowlife. I wouldn't blame you readers if you've got a bad impression on me. Damaged,that is. Sofie,sorry for being able to make it today <33
(Stop asking if i'm okay,because i'm not.)

So long,readers.