make it last forever?

I am still pissed at bestie. I don't know what's going through in my mind now and neither do i know what's in your mind. Am i just an ordinary friend or what? You could've told me you were going to visit her in the hospital. Why did you have to be so secretive about it? I had to persuade you till you finally agreed to tell me. I don't understand this. You don't like her, do you? But yet, you're meeting her without me knowing. I know i am being more like a mother than a friend. Still, what's holding you back from telling me that? Right now, i just don't feel like talking to you. No doubt, i am pissed off and somehow dissapointed. I wonder if you really treat me like a real friend does. I am not stopping you from doing things or whatever you think it is. I just literally feel that you're backstabbing us. Is 'she' really sick or does she have 'breast cancer'? Screw this shit. I am sorry if you think i am possesing or controlling you but really...i am not. Yes, i could possibly guess why you kept it from me. It's 'cus you're afraid that i'd be mad at you for wanting to visit her, right? Of cos i won't if you really want to. But thing is, you kept it from me and even on the verge of lying to me. Upset over this. If you realise, this has been our third major arguement. I need time on my own. How strange when i thought we were frank about everything and have no fears of hiding anything from each other.

I am sorry if i just walked away on you earlier. I am pretty amazed thinking back on how close we actually were last year. And i meant, ALL of us. I guess nothing sweet remains sweet forever. It turns sour over time :( I think i am stupid. And i can't help being over insecure sometimes.

Take care, best friend.