I'm done with cleaning up the mess in my room, wiping off the dust from every funiture possible, and washing the dishes. I feel a great sense of satisfaction. Okay, so I'm all alone in my room watching videos, while Mom is out to her friend's place in Jurong. Mom wanted me to tag along with her but it's pretty obvious how much I didn't want to tag along.. All that was on my mind is the thought of being a loner there without much company since mom is for sure gonna be attended to her friend. Well, maybe she's a little upset about how atrocious my behaviour have been lately. Sorry Mom.

If I was granted the green light to hang out on every weekend, I would definitely do so. But sadly, I'd always be turned down no matter how much I pleaded with her. Imagine being in my shoes-allowed to be out for only once a month. I bet you'd feel the sense of anger, far more than me. But kudos to me for having to bear with it this long. Sometimes, you're exceptionally good to me when you're in the mood and when you're not, it calls for a bad day for me. You become unreasonable and at the littlest things, you'd beat me up. It's not that I won't admit to the wrong-doings that I did in the past, but hey, it's the PAST. The future is all that matters now, right? I just get upset each time you get mad at me over things that I did before. Why d'you keep holding on to that fact? Can't you see that I probably changed for the better? I quit smoking. Not to mention drinking. I held back my feelings despite the fact that I've to let it out. All this, it's for you. I wanted to prove to you that I've changed for the better. But yet, the way you talk to me, simply hurts. Those harsh words. Bringing me down- it sucks. I really hope you'd see the drastic changes I've made. I am not bragging about this. So much for 'live life to the fullest'. I hope you understand how I feel. But no, I doubt so. You hardly spare a thought for my feelings. You NEVER ask. I'm not asking for the outmost freedom, really. All I'm asking from you is to at least trust me for now. I feel like I'm living in a cage and I'm only allowed to be out once. If you ever thought of my own good, this shouldn't be the way I should feel now. I wanted so much to tell you this, but knowing your character, I know I can't, Mom. I missed the past ; when I was allowed to be the happiest girl, hanging out with my friends. Not having to worry about anything when I reach home late. I just want to be out there, like any other teens out there.